I Deserve It
by Fuzzy Dragon
Summary: Inuyasha's father torments him physically and mentally ever since the death of his wife. Inuyasha thinks he deserves it all. Kagome thinks he's an absoloute jerk. When she finds out what happens... Can she help him? (AU, InuKag)
1. I Deserve It

_A/N_

__Heyylo! ^_^ I'm new... sorta. My name's Fuzzy, and I'm new... sorta. Do you sense a pattern here?

  


Anyway, my good friend (_right...)_ Silver Dragon here is typing for me, since I suck. (_Fuzzy says in the background: "Oh! You're so mean! As soon as we're don writing my story I'm gonna kill you!!!! *Loads shotgun*") _What a nice guy, ne? *Laughs*

  


The beginning is in Inu-chan's P.O.V! Kay? Kay! Flames will be roasted with Silver D.'s breath! AND eaten! *Cackles*

  


Anyway~, to the fic! ^_^ (Silver D.'s commentary... Fuzzy's is in italics, kay?)

  


~*~

Key:

  


_Thoughts_

  


_~*~_

  


In the beginning, everything was... perfect. My dad loved mom, my mom loved dad... Everything was just... perfect. Everyone says that there was no such thing, but they obviously didn't know my parents.

  


But now... Now everything _sucks._

  


And I know I deserve every bit of it.

  


What do I deserve, you ask? Well, my mother died. My dad...

  


Now he hates me.

  


But I guess that that would be an understatement. It's more like _loathing._ More than once, I've had to stay up late at night scrubbing my blood off the walls, then head to school with no sleep, food, and the comforting friend known as pain to guide me. I know that I could hide, and I know that I should, but I don't. I just stand there and take the blows. I don't cry.

  


I _can't _cry.

  


I've lost that ability. Its as if all of my emotions were there at first, but now they just decided to bundle themselves into a ball of slime and scuttle into the farthest reaches of my heart. Al that remains are old memories of what used to be, and why I deserve to die. All bottled up inside my heart...

  


If I have one, that is.

  


Tonight's one of those nights. My father went out with a bunch of his friends; probably getting drunk or hitting on some bimbo. On these nights, I know what's coming. I can sense the pain and anxiety prodding into my senses; warning me.

  


But, fear has never hugged me like an old friend as it does to others. Except on those nights when I fear if father won't give me a beating. On those dreary days, I punish myself. Why?

  


_Because I deserve it._

  


The screeching of tires filled my ears as light blared into my mind, blinding me for a moment.

  


_Dad's home._

  


~*~

  


(PS:_,__ This chapter was written by both myself (Fuzzy) and Silver D., although she came up with a bunch of stuffs... **(Hey! You're giving me credit! ^_^)** *Rolls eyes*)_

  


Kagome panted as she sprinted up the shrine steps. All one hundred and seventeen of them.

  


_Damn it! Who built the shrine on a steep **hill**?_

  


As her foot connected with the last and final step, she congratulated herself_._

  


_ That was a good one, Kagome-chan!_

  


She smiled, and continued her journey home from school. She was half expecting to see some bears to jump out from the trees around her, and even grabbed a large stick to "protect" herself from them.

  


She ended up squishing a large earthworm.

  


"Eep!" she squealed as her foot squashed the small, squirmy thing. Poking at it with her stick, she came to a conclusion that it was most certainly _dead_, and that it was _not _going to resurrect itself to cast undying doom upon her for... squishing it to death.

  


Yep! Plain logic and another day in the life of Kagome. (Hey! A slogan! _(Fuzzy: *Snorts*)_

  


_~*~_

  


^.^;; Sorry for the shortness, but it's a teaser. We'll update again tomorrow, _if _anyone reviews...

  


_Fuzzy: *Pokes everyone* Yeah! Review or I'll **never **continue again! *Looks smug*_

  


*Rolls eyes* Anyway, we shall update every so often... Maybe not as often as you like... But still!

  


OK! Bai!


	2. Missed Bus

_A/N_

__Hi! It's just me right now, Silver Dragon. Fuzzy... well, he had to go home... And his 'puter doesn't work... So yeah. I'll probably be updating for him, but whenever he comes over (roughly once a month), we'll update together! ^-^ N'kay.

  


Reviews!

  


**Skamori- **Yep, slogans are the bomb! .... **_BOOM!! _**XDD I'm on a suger high, can you tell?

  


**Cheery Wolf- **Wuluf! ~^_^~ I lurve wuffuls! ~^-^~ _*Ahem* _ANYway, moving on. I'm continuing already! Don't have a hernia!

  


~*~

Key:

  


_Thoughts_

  


_~*~_

  


A car door slammed and the stomping of boots could be heard. Inuyasha just stood there silently, awaiting his punishment. His father crashed through the door and panted. He had become _seriously _out of shape after the years, and just jogging a block would make him faint. He was hunched slightly, and a slight sheen of sweat was on his forehead.

  


He stumbled over to the immobilized Inuyasha and stood over him. A droplet of sweat landed in Inuyasha's eye, but he didn't flinch, blink, or shuffle. The man laughed.

  


"Looks like you've learned over the years. Good." He raised his hand slowly, and brought it down with such force that it drove Inuyasha off of his feet and crashing into the wall, headfirst.

  


The man grinned, and walked over to the blood-stained wall and the bloody-headed Inuyasha. He again raised his hand and slapped him across the face repeatedly. He raised his hand again, made it into a fist, and slammed it into Inuyasha's face.

  


Feeling satisfied at the face of the boy, he arose, and walked up the stairs to his room.

  


Inuyasha remained on the floor, trying to control his breathing, get it back to a normal pulse. If he collapsed, his dad wouldn't use the effort to take him to the hospital... And then the school would ask and then they'd find out... Bad things happen.

  


He placed his hands on the floor and braced himself as he got up. He was right. The pain was unbearable. He gritted his teeth, and slowly brought himself back to the floor. He wouldn't get any sleep tonight... But it was so tempting. He felt dizzy, drowsy, and was in pain. His eyes felt like lead, and they were harder and harder to keep up. He _had_ to clean the walls, or he would get a beating that _would _take him to the hospital.

  


Groaning, he decided that he'd get up faster if he _went _faster.

  


After many thoughts on how to go about this with less pain, and finally biting his arm as he got up, he was scrubbing furiously at the blood-caked wall. The splatter of crimson liquid was larger than he had expected.

  


_It's gonna take all night..._

  


Sighing, he kept on moving the sponge in circular motions until a section was done. Then he moved on to the next section. It went on like this for hours until he was finished.

  


_Now to clean up myself._

  


His father purposely hit him on the places that were the hardest to hide. It gave his son less time to eat something, or even better, clean up his blood. That way he could _kill_ the little bastard. He had already come up with seven different ways on going about the business. He was waiting for that day when his son wouldn't clean up the walls...

  


Inuyasha stepped out of the shower to meet the gaze of his father. He blinked, and his father advanced, punching him on the stomach.

  


"Looks like you _didn't _learn. Well, let me teach you again!"

  


Time seemed to slow during the three hours until school. Inuyasha watched his father burn him, whip him, force him to throw up everything he had eaten that week, make his arms turn black and blue, change the colors of the walls, and other things he couldn't remember. And one thought raged through his mind the whole time.

  


_I deserve it all._

  


~*~

  


Kagome sprinted after the bus. "MATTE!!"

  


The bastards of the school sat in the back that day, and had the audacity to give her the finger, make faces at her, and stick out their tongues.

  


Slowing to a stop, Kagome stood there watching the big, yellow box on wheels drive away. She checked her watch. "I've got ten minutes to get to school. It'll take me five to go back home, and another seven to get to school..."

  


_I'm screwed._

  


Cursing very fluently, she began to run after the bus. "The bus driver changes every week... Maybe he or she's nice!" Kagome said to herself out loud.

  


~*~

  


Sighing, Kagome walked to her classroom. She was dripping wet, and her shoes squeaked every time she took a step. The sun just decided to up and go a mile away from her school. The bus driver was _not _nice, and as she reached the next stop everyone was boarded. She sped off, with Kagome screaming at her from behind.

  


Kagome was not five minutes late; she was thirty three. Opening her locker after fumbling with the lock for a good minute, she put her stuff away.

  


_Maybe I should just go back home and say I'm sick... Yeah! No one'll know, and mom's out of town today!_

  


Smiling, she grabbed her soaking backpack and turned around, intent on heading home, when she came face-to-face with the principal. Very strictly brought up woman, always wore the same thing, always had a stern attitude, and always wore her wrinkles.

  


"Higurashi?"

  


"H-hai ma'am?"

  


"You're late," she stated bluntly.

  


"I realize that, ma'am, but I missed the bus-"

  


"And that's no excuse, Higurashi. Detention." And before Kagome could even complain she about-faced and exited the hallway with quick, even strides.

  


Sputtering in anger, Kagome knew it was fruitless to leave now. The principal must've has spies everywhere. Once she spots you, she doesn't let you out of her sight.

  


Grabbing her books, she headed to her first class.

  


_This is gonna be one hell of a bad day..._

  


~*~

  


OK, another short chapter... But I've already updated three of my own stories today... And I'm *yawn* tired.

  


Please review! ^_^


	3. Grams's Love

Disclaimer: Roses are red, blood is too. If you don't shut up I _will_ kill you. (^_^; Stolen from Silver Draggon.)   
  
  
  
Chapter 3:   
  
  
  
  
  
_Why must all of this happen to me anyway?'_ Inuyasha thought bitterly after his most recent beating. _Because you're a fucking dumbass, that's why.'_ His father had gotten drunk, and came home in a rage, where he proceeded to beat the living hell out of Inuyasha. He had walked in the door calmly, almost as if he had just woken up from an afternoon nap, but as soon as he saw Inuyasha pitifully attempting to scrub his blood off the walls from the previous beating before his father saw him, he flew into a wild rage, picking up a large glass beer bottle (still half full of beer), and proceeding to strike Inuyasha over his head with it repeatedly, adding pain, bruises, and more color to the walls. The horrible beating continued for nearly an hour and a half. None of the neighbors could hear Inuyasha's screams of agony, as it was nearly 2:00 A.M. when his father had gotten home.  
  
His father finished beating Inuyasha with the beer bottle, which was now reduced to shards of broken glass. The beer which was contained in the beer bottle was soaking Inuyasha's hair, along with the teenager's blood. Sneering at the broken bottle, Inuyasha's father tossed it over his shoulder at the wall. Inuyasha, who had been on his knees over the dark blue carpet of the room, flinched as the glass shattered into more tiny pieces, all waiting for him to pick them all up.  
  
Inuyasha's father shouted. Remember who the _fuck_ is taking care of your pitiful excuse for a life form! _Hazaki Falong(1)!_ You best remember that.  
  
Spitting on his silver-haired son as a dirty replacement for the words good night, Hazaki sauntered out of the blood-stained room, gagging out a discusted behind his back as he went.  
  
Blacking out had always been Inuyasha's rare respite, but Hazaki had never been a merciful father. He once attached a giant slab of ice to Inuyasha's back, giving him frostbite and keeping him awake the whole beating, which was all about fire. Or he swung him round in circles until Inuyasha's mind was too dizzy to think. Or he hung up the teenager by his hair, hanging from the ceiling by a very thick, itchy rope.  
  
Hazaki Falong had always been rather creative.  
  
Anyway, this, once again, was not one of those rare, beautiful times. Even though the beating was relatively it was still bundled in pain, harshness, and giftwrapped in cleaning, with a pretty blood bow on top.  
  
Sighing, Inuyasha slowly raised his hand with long fingernails. One thing people were jealous of on him was his gourgeous nails (OMG! How do you even _manage_ to get those _that long_ and _keep_ them that way?! Squeal.). Gently weaving his nimble fingers into his silver locks of hair, Inuyasha felt many marred places in his scalp and on his neck, bleeding freely. The flesh had been ripped from its stitchings, and dead skin that failed to disconnect itself from the body was mixing with the fresh, wet blood; the beginnings of a scab. His silver hair was stained a pinkish color, turning a deeper hue of red every minute. When Inuyasha withdrew his hand after inspecting his damaged skull, he noticed an odd design on his palm. Two strands of his silvery hair had come loose, twirling themselves about his fingers with the sticky blood attatched to it, following its trail like wolfhounds tracking a fox.  
  
It was an eye. Not a circle, not a square, but a sharp oval shape, with no pupil; sketchy in appearence.  
  
Knowing bad luck when he saw it, Inuyasha's eyes widened as he remembered one of the very few fond memeories of his.  
  
_Inuyasha? Inuyasha, where are you?  
  
A silver-haired youth poked his head out from underneath a prickly bush. Golden eyes flashed playfully at the flying birds and the chittering squirrels looking at him in curiousity. Yes, Grams? he called.  
  
Time to go!  
  
Pouting slightly with a furrowed brow, Inuyasha jumped out from the bush, the leaves clinging to his soft hair as he went. He waved to the animals of the small forest, who, strangely, waved back. Inuyasha sprinted the small way to his grandmother, who stood there like a magestic queen in a gray silk dress, cut plainly and simply at her ankles.  
  
  
  
Jumping into a hug, Inuyasha grinned at his gaurdian. His parents were as declared by the police force of New York City, where he used to live. His mother and father were at the scene of a shooting in the Bronx's backstreets. No one knows who had the gun, or who shot it. In any case, Inuyasha was sent to live with his grandmother, over 100 leages away in England.  
  
Smiling at her grandson's antics, Anastasia Tait(2) curled her thin arms around the smaller form that was her charge, and squeezed him. I love you, my little wolf, she said, nuzzling his hair with her cheek.  
  
Love you, too, Grams, Inuyasha replied, nuzzling the junction where the neck met shoulder.  
  
Noticing the black mark on the top of her grandson's foot, Anastasia quickly set Inuyasha down and inspected it. The black mark was made by two twigs, almost looking like paintbrushes, into a pupil-less, sharp oval. An eye.  
  
Quickly, my love, she said. It's a bad omen. Put your hands together, she folded back all of her fingers except her index finger and her thumb, like this. Inuyasha did so.  
  
Now, place them together-- that's right!-- and let me say the chant. Inuyasha, with his index and thumbs pressed together into the shape of a teardrop, looked up at her curiously.  
  
****_**Evil is like a slug, so it can hop your pockets and mug. Chop the finger; don't let it linger, and mop up the teardrop **_(3)**.  
  
**And with that, Anastasia thrusted her hand vertically through Inuyasha's teardropped shaped fingers, breaking the small curse.  
  
she exclaimed. Much better. Now, Love, you ready to go home?  
  
Inuyasha folded his arms accross his small chest, biting his lower lip and scrunching up his eyebrows. He hated to displease his grandmother, since she was the only family he had ever known.   
  
Anastasia looked dubiously at her grandson. You don't have to lie, silly. We can still stay, y'know. It's not the end of the world if we eat outside, looking at the sunset... Oh! That's it-- we're staying. An evening picnic... Lovely.  
  
Inuyasha, in his youth, had an incredible smile. He could brighten the lonliest man in the world's day simply by smiling. His cheery attitude brightened the atmoshpere, no matter how dank and dark it may have been. It was one of his best traits.  
  
He gave one of these said smiles to Anastasia.  
  
Gor! You rascal. Nobody can elude those smiles of yours! Anastasia exclaimed. It's like rubies are melded into your lips; the finest jem in the world!  
  
Aww, Grams, you know the best sparkly in the world's sapphire! Inuyasha argued.  
  
Shush, you, and go play, before I change my mind.  
  
Inuyasha quieted, though reluctantly. He hated making his Grams angry, but he hated to lose, too. And he didn't want to go. He jumped up into the treetops, settling himself comfortably on a large, fat branch, before turning to his grandmother to wave.  
  
She waved back to the enthusiastic Inuyasha, smiling softly at his antics of hopping on the tree in excitement. He bounded off into the deeper part of the small forest they were staying in.  
  
Anastasia shook her head. The youth is so wasted on the young...  
  
_ Two wet droplets escaped his golden, shimmering eyes. They trailed down his cheeks, leaving small rivers in their wake. Inuyasha clenched his eyes, drawing them tightly closed with the memory of his grandmother.  
  
Because that's what it was: a memory. She was dead; died long ago. And with her passing, Inuyasha died. Anastasia was his life. She was the only being he'd ever loved. _Ever._  
  
Getting a hold on himself, Inuyasha angrilly wiped the two tears away. He had work to do. And he _never_ cried.  
  
Hoisting himself up with a quiet grunt, Inuyasha glanced around, his once ruby-lined lips turning into a deep frown. The walls were crimson; they were origionally white. His head throbbed more than usual, and the glass table-top was snapped in half.  
  
_Damn.'_  
  
Knowing that the walls and the table were first, Inuyasha slowly made his way to the cubbard under the sink, where the superglue was housed.  
  
_Fucking pig. Sits on the table, surprised it didn't shatter into pieces like the beer bottle did under his fat ass.'_  
  
Inuyasha's thoughts trailed off as he noticed the time, and as he remembered the broken bottle of booze he still had to clean up.  
  
It was 5:48 A.M..  
  
Inuyasha stood there, his mouth open slightly, hating the irony of it all. He'd _never _get everything done in time _and_ get himself cleaned up for school. If he stayed home, his father would most likely send him to white-walled bliss (hospital).  
  
Like hell he was staying home. He'd enjoy his last day in life... at school.  
  
He snorted as he gathered his school bag and all of his heavy books softly, silently, thinking if his Grams had never died he never woud've ever thought that school would be considered a blessing. Now, it was his heaven; his Heaven away from his Hell.  
  
And his Hell was his life._  
  
~*~  
  
(1) - Inuyasha's father. Hey, we had to give him some kinda name, ne? Oh! And this father IS--NOT the one portraed in the real story. Yeah. Like this guy would give him a sword, right?  
(2) - _**TAIT(S) brisk, cheery **_Olde English name and its meaning.  
(3) - Yes, I (Silver Draggon) made that up. Sucks, huh? I tried to make it rhyme but... I dunno. What do you guys think?  
  
_ I, again, must apologize for the incredible shortness. I was honestly going to make this about ten or twelve pages long, but I had a writer's block. Fuzzy wasn't really helping, either (_I mean, with Ooble, I'm gonna kick so much ass. I mean, he's gonna be so friggin fast!)_ Le sigh.  
  
^_^ Please review. We authors and authoresses live for the critisism and love, and if anyone out there is an author/authoress, you should know how we feel.


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